The Dish and I were invited to a lovely American style smoked barbecue dinner last night in honor of an Italian couple who spoke more English then I speak Italian which culminated with me speaking like I was in a room full of semi-deaf people.
Loud.
Loud and slow.
And also blurting out the few (two) Italian phrases that I’ve memorized.
“Ferme la puerto”
When there were no doors open and quite possibly doesn’t even mean any thing in any language
“Cue delle luci”
Which caused the couple to look at me oddly because they probably thought I was a swinger or something but really I’m just awkward and no amount of wine will ever help that.
Trust me.
I tried.
I tried real hard last night.
And this morning I woke up with my left arm asleep and my pinky all tingly which I then said to The Dish that it all probably means I am dying and he very supportively told me that it was more likely that I was already dead and should probably take an advil.
You know how when you’re just about to throw your self down a flight of stairs just to get some attention and then instead you write a post about turning blue because you’ve been holding breathe waiting for something to happen and it’s right about that time that the universe turns to you and grabs you by the back of the head a plants a big wet sloppy sweet kiss directly on your mouth even though that universe knows exactly what you’ve been doing with that mouth. The universe is brave let me tell you. Very. Very brave.
First off I must thank each and every one of you. Yes YOU! Because you all made this happen for me, little old me. Me in my Twaggies Tee!
Do you even know how much I love my tee shirt…so much that I took this candid un-posed and totally natural looking picture of myself in it to show you and I don’t look awkward or uncomfortable at all do I?
Here’s a close up…because I know you want to see the finer details of my brillionare mind.
It’s all pixelated because I wanted to show you my caption…you know like you should show me something of yours since it it National Blog De-Lurking Day and for crying the fuck out loud I am going to try to be on time this year…not like last years de-lurking post.
Second thing to slap me out of my funk is Squatlo Rants….he burst onto the scene through me stalking him on Studio 30 Plus because I collect people there like serial killers collect pinky fingers…or something. And then he wrote this post about me which all I am going to say is please, please, please don’t anyone tell him about the Czar of Nothingness from Texas.
Then there is the cream in my…um in my….oh shit this isn’t coming…I am going to shut up now and link you over to Elly who Uked me today. Ahem *fans self* Did you see how she strokes Herbert at the end…phew.
And the sun came out today. And I have no work ethic so I left at 3. Well technically Friday’s are a half day for me so I worked an extra hour so my work ethic is completely stellar.
And because I think this is the best de-lurking song there is I am posting it to this delurking post as well.
So there!
So say hi or something but maybe this year you could refrain from rummaging around in my underwear drawers as I’ve added some cute little unmentionables there that are quite delicate and can’t really handle the man handling like my old tighty whiteys could.
