My Broken Goul
So, apparently I broke my vagina. Again. But in honor of Halloween I am going to call it a goul. Only now Halloween is over and calling it a goul doesn’t really make sense but neither do I so…GOUL it is! It is definately not as broken as this time …but what is it with me and bad waxing episodes? I mean all I want is to be neat and trim and not some fury Sasquatch, is that so much to fucking ask. Apparently so!
Oh and this time I was doing it my self which usually ends up working out just fine but it takes way too long and its way too messy and I am just not that much of a contortionist to be really efficient. Three strips in and Boom….broken Goul. How broken…bruised and battered kind of broken. So broken, I couldn’t even look at it…so broken the thought of putting on pants hurt. So broken, I may just go all Nanuk of the north down south!
Then I came to my senses after I came across this…
You can thank Me later for that image burned into your retinas.
Oh my holy hell….what is that….Hey Lady you girl bits are being attacked by a wolverine….or something, maybe a giant brillo pad. What. The. Fuck. I would so have that look on my face too if I got undressed and saw that shit happening. Either that or I would go get my dirty pots and pans and strart scrubbing away.
And that is what a Goul really looks like.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 am
There seems to be a case for the argument that we descended from apes when you (unfortunately!) look at that photo.
I must now turn away before spending too much time wondering what’s going on behind her to incite that reaction.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
Look away, lest some how gazing upon the image imprints it in your brain for eternity!
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Mom?
Bill´s last blog ..Today is The Day
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Oh My, I had no idea that was *your* mom….wow, this is awkward.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Wow….I mean…just, wow.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I do try to bring the wow…your welcome.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
OMFG! I am sitting on the train reading this. My sudden outburst was not looked upon kindly. I have never waxed there… Have been pondering a Brazilian… Hmmm. That picture could argue either way. I am glad you survived. Fast recovery.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:16 pm
At least we need to keep the brillo undercontrol
Thanks!
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Snort!
Heather´s last blog ..Blogging on Blogging
November 4th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
That is some New York slice o’ pizza!
November 4th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Oh my god…nooooooo, you’ve ruined pizza for me now!
November 5th, 2009 at 1:00 am
gruesome photo. waxing can be very pleasing, but don’t hurt yourself doing it! I can’t imagine how you would get bruised in such an endeavor. Please leave it to the professionals or find some other hair removal method if this is your result; cosmetics are not worth causing self-injury.
fernweher´s last blog ..United Nations Saves Cellphones
November 5th, 2009 at 8:01 am
But the leaving up to a proffession part didn’t work out sou well either! Oh whats a girl to do?!
November 5th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Holy cow! I am left speechless! I need to go ahead and get a head start on getting my Betty ready!
November 5th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I know….even though it is winter we don’t want the beavers building a damn now, do we??
November 8th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Goddamnit! Where the hell did you get my picture????
Fucking blondes think they rule the world…you dont! Just everything west of Asia!
….
Love the site…
November 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Oops you found out that Iused your picture without asking permission…so sorry!
Thanks.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Well i figure as long as your chocha doesnt look or smell like Feta cheese, youre ok!
so yeah good job!
btw, kudos for trying to DIY…and NOT being rushed to the emergency room.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Hey I have a greek salad in my pants….Hungry?!
November 13th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Hey! I keep on coming back and checking to see whether you have a new post…
submom´s last blog ..Hey, I am not the only one who thinks that the Smiley looks like a pervert!
November 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I know I need to post more regularly…I have been sick and gooey all week…ick…but thank you so much for sticking with me!!!
January 22nd, 2010 at 9:28 pm
fucking sick. i can never unsee that. please disable link to this post as i cannot help myself from returning to gawk and vurp.
magda´s last blog ..Speaking of Pussy…
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:47 am
I told you not to click on it….trust me darling If I say do not click here…I fucking mean it with all of my heart and soul! Now are your pots and pans caked with baked on soot…because I have a HUGE brillo pad!!!
March 26th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
[...] (My Broken Goul=The Guide to Perfect Parenting) I strongly suggests you do not click on that link unless you have a fur fetish. CHEERS TO YOU! I am going to start writing my first installment of how to raise your daughters up so they understand what pole dancing and tattoos are really all about. I hope your weekend is full of dust bunnies and sunshine just like mine is going to be. [...]