Sensible Shoes Are Not For Spies
It’s probably a really bad sign that every time I step foot into my work environment, I want to take a nap. Like overwhelmingly desirous of sweet sweet sleep. So I was thinking I should start looking for a new job but I am not sure who to contact about this international spy thing…because that is totally what I should be doing. Do you know there is not one post on Craigslist looking for a spy that I can find. I mean what the fuck do people use Craigslist for.
Of course I am completely thankful for the current position I am in (napping and all at my desk)…but it just gets a little monotonous you know…seeing as though I had just been asleep already for like 7 hours or so. At home. In my bed.
Not to mention I am super qualified to be a spy. I don’t think I own one pair of sensible shoes. So it would make perfect sense when I show up in some frozen tundra looking all glam and freezing because that is totally what spies do. They load up the jet, fly off to remote places, that are usually freezing and are always under dressed because…HELLO it is a glamorous job, and you can not be glamorous wearing sensible shoes. Who the hell invented sensible shoes anyway. They need to be shot. Better yet I will unsheathe the knife that is strapped around my thigh (in slow motion of course) and with expert aim and a toss of my hair…I will lodge the knife between their eyes curing the world of sensible shoes.
(these are totally spy shoes)
You know what else spies do…they drink martinis and I love martinis. So naturally I would totally rock being a spy. Just look at my lunch box.
You can consider this my official Spy Job Application. I should say that I do not have 20/20 vision so I will be needing minor lasik surgery on my eyeballs and maybe a little laser resurfacing to help with the glamorousness thingy too.
Spies do not age.
February 5th, 2010 at 1:24 am
Being sleepy at work is totally acceptable. I am an expert so you can take my word for that.
And you don’t look for Spy jobs. Spy jobs find you. So now that you have made you desires known, sit back in your sassy shoes and wait for MI6 or the Avenger Initiative to contact you.
The Office Scribe´s last blog ..The Arch Nemesis of an Office Building
February 5th, 2010 at 7:45 am
Ah you would know about being sleepy at work..Thank you. And thank you for the advice. Now I play the waiting game!
February 5th, 2010 at 8:16 am
Nice international lunch pail of mystery! I heart my sensible shoes. I hate martinis. Clearly I was meant to be a dungeon keeper. *sigh*
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Thom the Bald-tist
February 5th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Its the way of the universe…Yin and Yang baby, yin and yang!
February 5th, 2010 at 8:27 am
How about slippers? I mean, these are some nice slippers. I could totally outrun a somersaulting oil rig in these things. And they are hella comfy.
Homemaker Man´s last blog ..Blogger Idol Round 5 finally for real this time / I am So So SO Sorry, Mr . Geisel
February 5th, 2010 at 8:43 am
I’d have to see the slippers…do they have a kitten heel and ostrich feathers?
February 5th, 2010 at 9:46 am
Does a kitten heal mean a heal made out of a kitten? Because if so, yes.
Homemaker Man´s last blog ..Blogger Idol Round 5 finally for real this time / I am So So SO Sorry, Mr . Geisel
February 5th, 2010 at 10:10 am
@Homemaker Man Of course that is what a kitten heal is.
February 5th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Sadly, I have to wear sensible shoes at work, which, I think, makes me very qualified to be a ninja. Ninjas do their best work by quietly padding padding up to their victim in their Reebok walking shoes. In black, of course. Oh, very sexy, ninja!
February 5th, 2010 at 10:10 am
@Fadkog Ninjas a so sexy its ridiculous and you would be the sexiest of the sexiest ninja!
February 5th, 2010 at 10:40 am
I love your shoes.
This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
lagunatic´s last blog ..Gelatinous goo.
February 5th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
@Lagunatic Boom!
February 5th, 2010 at 11:10 am
by pretending to not be a spy, you have outed yourself…perhaps attending savvy spy class might be helpful. might be difficult to find though
February 5th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
@Magda holy shit you are so right. I am in a heap of trouble now.
February 5th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
You have the shoes, you have the martini kit. Darling, they are simply waiting for you to confirm the Catherine Zeta Jones-like gymnastic abilities, your standard issue trench coat and your black bodysuit for when your scaling skyscrapers in Russia. Quick, edit post. You’re in, doll!
BTW: Is tomorrow fresh ink day? Can you tell I’m excited for you?
Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked List of Good and Not So Good Ideas
February 5th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Ah Hah! I have the hardest part covered…once upon a time I used to be a gymnast. I am
sure those skills never go away. The rest is why we have Zappos Spy ( you didn’t know about that
did you? Kind of like Zappos Couture but a secret!)
February 5th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
And Catherine Zeta Jones and I totally have the same Birthday.
February 5th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Gosh I wish I had someplace to go in which I could wear my un-sensible shoes.
I’m not sure if cleaning the cat box would be the appropriate destination. That lunch box is to die for…
Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog ..Are You Out?
February 5th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Why not use them to clean the cat box…that is about as sensible as it is to where them doind spy-ee things.
You want my lunch box, don’t you?
February 5th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Bwahahahahaha! I own Uggs. They’re ugly, but comfortable and sensible. I’m guessing this means I couldn’t be a spy. *sadface*
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky Slices Onion, Cries Real Tears
February 5th, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Are You fuking kidding me…You are the super dupger hider spy!!!
February 6th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Love the lunch box. And why wait for a Martini until after work if you can get a job that requires you to drink on the job. I may have to start my own agency…
Jennifer June´s last blog ..That NO-feeling
February 6th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
When you start that agency…sign me up!
February 7th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Where do spies go to get manicures/pedicures? I mean, that’s some bangin’ toenail polish you have on there, and spying could totally chip some of the color off, and you’ll be in need of a touch-up!
I don’t think spies should ever go around with chipped nail polish, so you should always make sure you know where to get a good touch up while in Sri Lanka, Czech Republic, wherever…
McNeatoBurrito´s last blog ..Meth Heads Suck
February 7th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I am sure there are Happy Nails all over the world. But you make a totally valid point. Like right now, since I just fell down
My knees are bruised and the polish is chipped. Boo.
February 9th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Dude. Those shoes and you willmake great spies. You need to go to Miami and find Michael Weston!
February 9th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Is this my first assignment…who is mi…never mind. I am a spy now I will find out.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:33 am
Love this. Esp. the last line:
Spies do not age.
No shit, m’lady!
submom´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: The Price of Tomatoes
February 10th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
This was my plan…so when I do disappear for periods of time (read writers block) no one will be suspicious!
Have you ever seen a female spy that ages? I think not!
February 10th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Ok, and don’t worry: by ousting yourself hence rendering yourself totally un-spy-worthy is perhaps the best disguise.
Wow. You are good, girl!
submom´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: The Price of Tomatoes
February 19th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
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