Jul
15
2009
Hey, You Didn’t Tell Me I Looked Good Today
So, I just went into the bathroom to blow my nose, because my allergies are taking over my body like it’s an alien host and I am fucking pissed. I want to know why no one, not one single person had the common decency to tell me that I look like Pippi Longstocking on a Crack Bender…c’mon people I would tell you if you had food in your teeth or a gooey booger or a string hanging from your butt with a dingle berry attached! (by the way that is what I had to extract from The Nug this morning (somewhere in that link is a picture of the nug, which is what I am trying to link to…not that I had to extract and assberry or anything)….and this was before coffee. ) Hold on… I am enduring a sneeze marathon at the moment…see gooey boogers… Okay back to the matter at hand…If you have either a head of lettuce in your teeth or a gigantic turd dangling from your anus…I AM GOING TO TELL YOU aaaannnnnddd I might even help you get rid of said doody…okay, so please, please, please return the favor…and tell me my eyeliner is drooping past my knees and that my short and curlies are peeking out of my low rise jeans, Okay. Cause if you don’t I will totally let you go running around town with your bare naked ass scooching down the sidewalk trying to loose that pesky little poop.
Do we have a deal?
