I was kicking around an idea for a post and realized there is just not enough material there, literally to make an entire post so here are my craptastic gardening skillz.

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Okay so these trees are doing really well, by the grace of the fucking Garden Fairy I guess, because the Garden Fairy giveth and the Garden Fairy taketh away!

BEHOLD, The Garden Fairy of Death

Then there is the matter of our lawn

I would say from this angle it just looks like it is in need of a good mowing, but ohhhh how wrong, how very very wrong…
That Garden Fairy, what a pisser she is.  I might just stab her and steal her money and then I will just mosey on over to Sentimental Journeys on Etsy and buy this and pretend that one day I will be able to give that card to some sorry ass gardener, and laugh loud and hearty at the paltry lawn they have all the while boasting about how great mine is and was the inspiration for that card.

The love of my life…(shhhhh, he doesn’t actually own a bycicle)