Pussies, Pigtails and Glitter
You know what is super deliciously awesome (or not)? Getting up every morning and finding out that the spy thingy hasn’t quite started yet and having to get back in your stupid car and drive the same stupid route to the same stupid wonderful job because you are totally thankful to have said job. Yes..YES…YESSSSSSS this is awesome sauce at its most finest.
What I really feel like doing is running around creating Aggravated Mayhem. I’m not really sure what it all entails but I think I need to form a gang. Who’s in?…you way in the back don’t hide. I can see you are just dying to skip through town knocking over garbage pails with me. Well maybe that’s just plain old Mayhem. I think in order to create Aggravated Mayhem you need to sever the head off of something and I am not so sure I’m into severing things. Except maybe the guy who couldn’t find my pizza order the other night. Now call me crazy, but could it have been the dumb box he was wearing on his head with eye holes cut out that was blocking his view…or his hearing or maybe it was actually keeping the STUPID in. I don’t know. But I for sure would have at least liked to smack the box off of his mother fucking head. I was hungry and tired and soooo close to creating some aggravated mayhem on him. Sigh. Instead I just took my pizza home and didn’t tip. Oh wait I think I did tip…Jesus I am soft.
Back to the gang thang. I have a possible list of names.
1. Pussy Posse (totally stole this line from one of the hottest chicks I know) now the only problem is this would indicate that I only want women if your mind is in the gutter. (with mine) That however is not the case. Maybe its just all about the kool kats…Pussy Posse full of the Koolest Kats around screeching in the night creating mayhem and fear.
2. Pigtail Mafia. Again maybe you’re thinking only chicklets can join. So not the case. You could be that sensitive ponytail guy or you could be this guy…as long as you have a penchant for ringing doorbells and running away!
3. Glitter Gang Bangers. (this is in the top three for me, well so far I actually only have three) Glitter can be really menacing and pretty all at the same time. I hear there are vampires out there that glitter. And have you heard about The Glittery Unicorns of Death. The thought of them sends a chill down my spine. Don’t even get me started about the time that I decorated my friend with glitter and make up and then took pictures of him an posted them on a blog somewhere.
And loving every minute!
I told you I am mean.
So Who’s in….all you need to do is get some of those gang tat’s like me!
But watch your back over the weekend…The Tear Drop Argyle Gang may be taggin your hood!